the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
