the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
NoShamevember. You game?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
