On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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