He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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