But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
