i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize