Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
