Too much gin, very little bucket
Everything about him screamed your future.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
