Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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