I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drake has all the answers
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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