Just cropdusted the office
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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