...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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