so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
