Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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