You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
