Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
