i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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