it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
