i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
