U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
