So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
