I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
