We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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