we have officially lost it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
