my mouth tastes like poor choices
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
