i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
