Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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