I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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