If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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