Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
