cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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