i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
