I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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