i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
