My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Randomize
