After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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