Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
