Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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