xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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