so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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