Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
