Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
