I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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