why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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