He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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