I want to have your abortion
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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