Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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