I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
me + whiskey = a bad person
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
