You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
