dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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