I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
