so explain again why im purple
no
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
