i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
