I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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