Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My penis needs a shock collar
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
