wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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